Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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