Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
