Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
