Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
