I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
