So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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