My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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