I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it glows. i had to have it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
