Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize