she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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