you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
