At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
