Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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