The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
