when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
