I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
