i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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