Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
