When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
