i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
