remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
