Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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