so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
