We're facebook friends in real life
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
