I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
