ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
