Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
