dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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