A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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