Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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