I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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