small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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