Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Rumble strips road head = magical
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
