Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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