Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
