so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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