I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
