Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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