So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
