And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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