Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize