Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
