Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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