So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
