This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
