So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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