Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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