I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
