Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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