I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
