if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize