I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
