and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
where are you?
Hypothermia
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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