Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
