That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
