If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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