im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
