maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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