if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
