i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
